In the beginning, there was Melvin...

"Babe, what should I name my virtual pet?"

"Melvin"

"Hey, what should I name this character in my Role Playing screen play?"

"Melvin"

"What should we name our new kitty when we get one?"

"Melvin. LDO"

*Melvin after being bathed and groomed. He knows he's sexy

And that's how it started... Sort of. It mostly started with my obsession with cat videos, cat blogs, cute little Himalayan kitten pictures, and an endless search for a "smooshyfaced" cat of my own on Craigslist.

Oh dear Craigslist, how we love to hate you.

If you really want to get technical, it started with a boy cat that really loved a girl cat... But I don't feel like ranting on about a furry porno, so those of you looking for that, you may want to look elsewhere.

Anyways, we found Melvin on Craigslist. A simple post marked "Blue Point Himalayan Kitten - $50". Oh goodness, this is too good to be true! (Remember kids, buying ANY animal from Craigslist is a gamble) But I was set on my smooshyface. So the email was sent (after some discussion with the boyfriend, of course).

*Melvin isn't the biggest fan of his weekly baths.

Melvin was an "accident". His daddy was 9 months old and his previous owner didn't know cats can "shoot their seed" that early on in life. Accidental litters are never a good thing, red flag number one. Finding out he is a "runty" kitten, red flag number two. Being told that he may need a bottle for supplements, red flag number three. All these red flags and I still went on. I was sent some pictures of the little guy and I thought to myself, "Something about him seems funny". He kind of looked like a furry version of Quasimodo, you know, that "special" kind of cute.

When we finally got Melvin, I was ecstatic. His pictures did him no justice. He was so tiny and sweet. We got to meet his aunt, who was brought to show us how he will look when he grows up. She was a delicate little 2.5 pound bundle of fur. Nothing seemed wrong at all. Just a "teacup" Himalayan.

*I'm still confused why he sleeps this way.

We brought Melvin home and instantly noticed he didn't act like a normal 2 month old kitten. He slept almost 22 hours a day, he barely ate, and he didn't play or purr. For the first couple of days, I decided that it was just because he was so small, and the lady I got him from agreed. Then it all happened... *WARNING: If you don't want to read about doo-doo, you may want to stop now, that is, if you actually made it to this point* Melvin got a sudden case of diarrhea. Wet, foamy nasty diarrhea. It was terrible. I had fed him nothing but a bottle that day, so I decided that was the culprit. The next morning, he was shitting blood. After Googling "diarrhea in kittens" and "bloody stool in kittens" for nearly an hour, we finally decided it was time to take Melvin to the vet.

When we got to the Emergency Clinic, we signed in and were escorted to a room. The lady instantly noticed how tiny Melvin was. Through some poking and prodding (and a short rectal temperature-taking that caused the little patient to scream in pain), she found that his temperature was almost 7 degrees below normal, he was severely dehydrated, extremely emaciated and weighed only 9 ounces. The vet came in and continued with some more poking and prodding, looking in every hole he had. She asked us a few questions, continued to proclaim "This is a sick, sick kitten" and schooled us on the Pet Lemon Law (apparently we shouldn't have paid $50, but hell, if we didn't, who's to say someone else wouldn't have? Someone that WOULDN'T have paid for this $200 visit?). Then they took the bag of poop I brought them and started some tests.

Melvin was diagnosed with severe emaciation, dehydration, a crossbite, an overbite, possible intestinal inflammation, and what could very well be a form of dwarfism. Did you know that "teacup" kittens are just midgetized cats? A genetic mistake? But recently, "teacup" pets are all the rage. Actually owning a "teacup" Himalayan, and seeing what is involved, I am now very against further breeding of this genetic mutation.

*Don't worry, we're beginning to reach the end

After paying for the vet bill and getting shit on in the car, we finally made it home, now armed with a prescription diet and syringes. Instructions were to feed Melvin 10ccs of his new gourmet diet every couple of hours so that he eats 60ccs a day. I followed instructions well, added pumpkin to help him poop normal poops, gave him yogurt and watched everything that came out of his ass for the next couple of days. All the while, we saw our little Melvin grow stronger and stronger.

After all that, Melvin is doing well. He runs around and actually became quite a sassy little shit. He eats, poops (my boyfriend is convinced that I'm obsessed with my cat's feces) and drinks on his own. And tonight, he's going to sleep on his own, because I'm sick of getting woken up during the night by a tiny little fuzzball with an obsession for feet.



And there you have it, the unabrieviated version of Melvin's life.
I mean, I had to fill you in some how, right?
And if you've made it to this point, congratulations, you truly are as bored as I am.

Stay tuned for updates on Melvin's life, some cute pictures, and random crap I may find entertaining or cute.